A Realistic Humility
Within a writing from March 1962 published in “The Language Of The Heart” under the heading (pg. 269);
What Is Acceptance?
Bill speaks of our sobriety being literally founded upon the proposition that “Of ourselves, we are nothing, the Father doeth the works,” going on to say that “we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a higher power (if only our AA group) could do this hitherto impossible job.”
100% Sobriety
Later in the writing Bill talks about “This kind of acceptance and faith is capable of producing 100 percent sobriety. In fact it usually does; and it must, else we could have no life at all. But the moment we carry these attitudes into our emotional problems, we find that only relative results are possible. Nobody can, for example, become completely free from fear, anger, and pride. Hence in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our old-time attitudes of ‘all or nothing’ will have to be abandoned.”
Accepting Our Present Circumstances
“Therefore our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives. Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built.”
Last night a 30 day newcomer was once again whining about being separated and wanting to get his wife back. I related my personal experience. An oldtimer told me to “come down off the cross, we need the wood.” I stopped whining - and got angry… Then, I learned. I think the newcomer got angry. I pray he learns.
Thank you AA.
Tags: alcoholics-anonymous, emotional_health, Second Step, sobriety, spiritual_progressRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Second Step
4 opinions for A Realistic Humility
Mary Christine
Feb 9, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Gotta love those crusty oldtimers. “we need the wood”, that is great.
Scout
Feb 10, 2007 at 12:43 pm
I pray he learns, too. However, with 30 days our feelings are so huge and so difficult and so real to us that a bit more compassion from the oldtimer might have been nice. That kind of stuff can chase newcomers out of the rooms long before it helps him to learn.
just one woman’s opinion….
I’m glad it helped you though, my friend.
Mark
Feb 10, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I don’t know Scout - it didn’t chase me out although this specific case was a bit different and I might have made it more clear - this newcomer is a repeater, many times over.
How do you feel about what the oldtimers taught us with;
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If we “chase” someone out of the rooms they no doubt were looking for an excuse anyway. I believe that to be true. I didn’t quite believe it when I was new.
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Please don’t forget, “That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. God could and would if He were sought.” It follows that, if I can’t get you sober I also can’t get you drunk. And today that makes total sense to me. I only made the decision to drink for one person - me.
Thanks :)
A Dozen Steps » It Works, It Really Does
Feb 11, 2007 at 8:41 am
[…] I can appreciate the feeling for compassion being offered. It is a better way to be, usually. Yet, there are times when offering compassion has the ability to kill. Doesn’t make sense, does it? […]
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