A Dozen Steps

Is Sobriety Enough?

by Mark on November 5th, 2006

I am not alone! I have to remember that.

For practically my entire life I’ve been on the receiving end of condemnation and judgment. While I was drinking it was mostly well-deserved. I earned it. For the early part of sobriety, not having worked through the 12 Steps, I learned from a wonderful sponsor that I was accountable for the harm I’d done. I’d be required to make amends if I truly wanted to stay sober. The condemnation and judgment continued to come from those who probably weren’t able to see that I really wanted to be a different person and had found the way, yet had to go through the process.

Today, I am sober. I have worked the 12 Steps with a sponsor, through all of what life has unfolded in my direction, and with others trying their darndest to get and stay sober.

And I’m here to tell you, from very distinct, intimate, personal experience, that “just” being sober is not enough! Now - there’s darn well a fine line here. I’d prefer not to walk this fine line but I must. Sober, to be not drinking, to be working at recovery, to be desirous of change, to be committed to not being what I once was - is damn well good enough! For today - if the only thing you do, for today, is stay sober OR dry so you have the strength to make it until tomorrow - that is also damn well good enough! OTOH - just not drinking and thinking that will make everything okay, won’t work.

Making amends might not work, for those we’ve made amends to. Making amends will account for the damage I’ve done. Making amends will not change the people I’ve harmed and made my amends to. They might not forget nor forgive. I may very well remain the target of their anger and unforgiveness.

This is a family disease!

From page 83;

“There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we could right them if we could.”

“We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone.”

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POSTED IN: The 12 Steps