It Isn’t Easy
This time I “strolled” through Scott W.’s blog and saw he had quoted Walk In Dry Places. I decided to check out a few of Mel B.’s writings and right away I found an appropriate topic - Anger.
There was a lot I could identify with…
“During recent years, I have usually worked rather hard to keep my anger from showing or getting out of control, because ___ .”
Because my anger always, not occasionally, always, hurts me and I never wanted that! I can be 200% right with my justification, I can be 200% right based on the truth yet it makes no difference. Anger always hurts me.
“These unhappy episodes were not the direct result of drinking; they occurred many years after my last drink. And I could not agree that any good came from such temper outbursts, other than in showing me that I had more work to do on my personal inventory and ways of thinking.”
Yes, yes and yes…
“What really is behind a temper outburst? A temper explosion is not something that just blows up out of nowhere, a storm without a cause. It is actually a surface manifestation of inner hostility, of the emotions we often call “resentments” in AA. I’ve learned that I am subject to moments of rage only if I allow myself to wallow around in a swamp of resentful, self-pitying thoughts.”
Bingo!!! Looooooove the swamp!!!
“We pay a price for every temper outburst and for hanging on to old resentments, grudges, and other garbage. We have no more chance of entertaining anger with impunity than we do of resuming drinking without destroying ourselves.”
Once again - so true. And we’re about to look at a solution…
“Many of us know this, however, and are still victimized by attacks of anger and resentment. It is not always enough to know that something we’re doing is wrong or harmful. Such knowledge is of little benefit if we are unable to find a method of changing our habits.”
Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes
“We probably have to face anger in much the same way we faced alcohol: by realizing that we are powerless over it and that it makes our lives unmanageable… It is not hard to see that we lose some ability to manage our lives if anger gets out of hand… It’s not stretching the point too much to say that we should admit complete powerlessness over anger as a first step toward getting out from under it.
If I truly release my resentment to the Higher Power, it fades away, and I get a feeling of peace concerning the matter. It is entirely correct to say that this isn’t easy. Not only is it difficult, but it would be impossible if the Higher Power did not also work to bring about this result. I am unable to explain how this works, except to say that it does work.
The third phase is moral inventory, which includes discussion meetings… some AA members try to rationalize bad ways of thinking and behavior, but the general trend has been in the direction of real self-improvement.
Our progress will depend on our persistence in remaining on the path, for the conquest of anger is certainly a lifetime job.”
Tags: 11th-step, 1st-step, 2nd-step, 3rd-stepRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Reality, The 12 Steps
2 opinions for It Isn’t Easy
Scott w
Jan 14, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Anger is one of the nastiest things I carry. The load has lightened a great deal over the past 4+ years, but I still can find myself on the other side of an outburst without even realizing what was going on. I would love to be a master of pausing when agitated, but I have far to go.
Mark
Jan 14, 2008 at 6:25 pm
It continues to get better Scott - I am proof of that thankfully… yet, the one thing that obviously will never change is the price I pay for being angry. If I could one day become perfectly serene and never get angry again…
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