A Dozen Steps

It Works, It Really Does

by Mark on February 11th, 2007

I’d like to personally thank Scout for stopping by, commenting and, though you didn’t realize it, motivate my reading you and feeling as if I had something to write.

First Things First - You are not alone!

You are certainly not unique. I know you didn’t say you were. That is a point that others might need to consider within this context.

I can appreciate the feeling for compassion being offered. It is a better way to be, usually. Yet, there are times when offering compassion has the ability to kill. Doesn’t make sense, does it?

Back to what motivated me…

Your post from January 16th. “losing the love (caution: trigger alert)”

Please hear - this disease is exactly, precisely what it is described as: cunning, baffling and powerful. It is beyond our human comprehension especially when we are clean and sober only a short time. We do things according to a memory that are seemingly innocent things such as watch a TV show/movie. Who thinks things like ‘here I go, romancing the drink/drug again.” Yet, that is what we are doing.

When I was 5 months away from my last drink I did something so many others had done. I went back to one of my old watering holes. Confident. In reality, that confidence was false pride. Misleading me into thinking I could do something with some kind of “power” that I’d never been able to truly do before - choose to not drink. Would you like to know what prayer I said before I did this? Yeah, that’s the one - the one that makes no noise whatsoever, because it didn’t happen.

I Was Setting Myself Up!

We set ourselves up. Funny that no one talks about this in meetings anymore. Thank God I heard it when I was getting sober, by God’s grace!

I will put myself in harms’ way. I did it all the time when I was drinking. It is old behavior that takes time and a major psychic change to stop. I will do it again and again.

Unless I find a way not to do it.

Here - “This is the place I usually REFUSE to let my mind wander to — that very vision above. Now I won’t let my mind let it go. And it’s driving me crazy. It really is.”

We think we have the power to deal with our thinking. Not when it is the disease that’s doing the thinking. We can’t distinguish the true from the false. Who can?

Our Higher Power!!! This is one of the many ways we can make use of the Third Step to stay clean and sober. You’ve offered a perfect example of it.

It’s driving you crazy? Ask your God, your Higher Power to take your thinking from you. He has the power to deal with it! It won’t drive Him crazy! He knows it and understands its deviousness and can deal with it!

Let Go and Let God

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POSTED IN: The 12 Steps