The First Deadly Sin
Wow. That’s not all I have to say either… but… wow!
I am absolutely amazed this morning as a direct result of last night. Perhaps there is a small condo being erected in my gray matter :-)
Having been given the opportunity to chair our group’s discussion meeting last night along with some time to consider a topic, I couldn’t decide between bringing up pride or tolerance. I chose pride. Wow…
Why do I say wow? It came to pass that it became a good meeting (and who am I to judge?) but, having begun with a few words about the personal difficulties that I’m having with those who are being misled into prideful feelings in recovery, I watched and listened to one of the most “distant” discussions I’ve heard in an A.A. meeting in years! A discussion about good and bad pride. A long list of justifiable pride. A lot of proud people!
Not until the sharing came to about the eighth or ninth person, Ed, did I hear anything like I had heard from the oldtimers who taught me. Right there I need to fetch myself up. I have a pride in what the oldtimers taught me. I don’t want my memory of those people to be violated by the BS I hear today, and I miss them. I am incredibly grateful for what they did for me. And I’ll do whatever it takes to pass it on the way they gave it to me. (Lots of “I’s” in this paragraph lol).
Strangely enough, my best friend in A.A. was so upset by what he heard that he let loose a volley out of the Big Book on this group at the end of the meeting (Yeah - he’s a Big Book thumper). Consider - not once was “false” pride mentioned. Out of approx. 35 folks, no one talked of a Higher Power! But about 25 did reiterate that they are a proud member of A.A. Proud of things like cleaning their apartment, being employed, dressing properly, exercising, etc. You know, all those things the oldtimers told me I ought to have been doing right from the jump street of my life because that’s the way God had made me. Doing them now was nothing to be proud of because I hadn’t been doing them for - a looooong time - and the fact I was now doing them was an Act of Providence!
Well, well then, where does this lead me? The literature!
In no particular order - pg. 25 in The Big Book. This is for those who will tell us to trust the process, but they’re a proud member;
“There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.”
Pg. 83 - “We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping.”
From the 12 and 12 - Fourth Step. “the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. It is not by accident that pride heads the procession. For pride, leading to self-justification, and always spurred by conscious or unconscious fears, is the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to true progress. Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our God-given instincts. When the satisfaction of our instincts for sex, security, and society becomes the sole object of our lives, then pride steps in to justify our excesses.”
“So when A.A. suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can do. Both his pride and his fear beat him back every time he tries to look within himself.”
Aah Ha! From my memory - some of the most spiritual people in history have made self-searching a way of life! I’ll be darned - if this is true then what’s happening is self-searching is being blunted or stopped.
Have you ever noticed that the discussion of the Seven Deadly Sins in the 4th Step is continued in the 6th Step? “No one wants to be so proud that he is scorned as a braggart, nor so greedy that he is labeled a thief. No one wants to be angry enough to murder, lustful enough to rape, gluttonous enough to ruin his health. No one wants to be agonized by the chronic pain of envy or to be paralyzed by sloth. Of course, most human beings don’t suffer these defects at these rock-bottom levels.”
The 6th Step goes on to say “We who have escaped these extremes are apt to congratulate ourselves. Yet can we? After all, hasn’t it been self-interest, pure and simple, that has enabled most of us to escape?”
Pride = Self-congratulation.
The Seventh Step! Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
“the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of A.A.’s Twelve Steps.”
“Much of the everyday talk we hear, and a great deal of what we read, highlights man’s pride in his own achievements.”
“Our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility.”
“That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God’s will, was missing.” I wonder just how many proud people have a desire to seek and do God’s will?
“Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help.”
“A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have.”
A Sober, Clean and Humble Day To All,
Mark
Tags: false-pride, humility, pride, Seventh-Step, Sixth-StepRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Principles
5 opinions for The First Deadly Sin
Trevor L
Jun 20, 2006 at 12:31 pm
I have been sober for almost 3 years. I read your posting with much agreement. I find the rooms of AA recently to be too politically correct. People are just too afraid to tread on other people’s feelings; but that is what is precisely needed in the rooms. I’ll give you an example:
One meeting my group had, I chose a reading from As Bill Sees It called, “Face The Music” p 251. I knew it “would ruffle a few feathers”, so I read it. About two people chose to talk about what I read. When the discussion part came, there was complete silence for at least a minute. But once the talking began, it was one of the best meetings that we had in a long while. I learned a lot that night. One of these days, I would love to read the original How It Works, taken from Joe and Charlie’s Big Book Study, just to see the reactions! ;-) I typed what was the original How It Works on my computer and saved it. It’s a good read.
markw
Jun 20, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Hey Trevor,
I appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to comment. Funny, I had only written something about the original manuscript last week;
http://www.adozensteps.com/designed-to-sell-you-three-pertinent-ideas/
I will say that even though it seems to be the trend - being PC in AA meetings - I\’m not leaving AA anytime soon (unless HP has other plans). But I\’ll be doing my best to follow what Johnny O told the oldtimers that taught me - if its not an AA meeting, make it one, our lives are at stake.
Take Care,
Mark
lesterchz
Jun 20, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Mark:
I am listening to the second podcast of “Sober Night Live” I love it. This is the perfect way to get a meeting during day at work. These guys are “Great”
My name is Leslie and I have 5 days sober. Up until 2 yrs ago I had almost 13 yrs sober. I drank a month shy of being able to celabrate. For the last 2 years I haven’t had the desire to stop until Thurs morning June 15th. After downing almost a liter of Vodka by myself it was then upon waking it was then that I realized that I needed to go back to meetings. I went to work and left at noon. I went to two places where they held Noon meetings only to find that they started that day at 11.
I entered the last meeting place and got a white chip. I then came home and took a brief nap and went to a 5:30pm meeting in Homestead, FL. Since then I have been going to 2 meetings a day, have at least 20 phone numbers. The amazing thing for me is that I am calling the numbers I have received.
I am VERY greatful for the program and for the “Sober Nite Live” They are the bomb I just wish they where longer than 30 mins. I can’t wait for the next one.
Sober from Homestead Florida
Leslie
markw
Jun 20, 2006 at 10:23 pm
Hey Leslie!
Welcome home!
Are you talking about my friends Keith and Alan?
Keep calling those numbers! And keep coming back, please.
Mark
A Dozen Steps » I Am An Instrument
Jul 10, 2006 at 12:59 pm
[…] Perhaps I ought to send this out exclusively to those who took the time to mock me at a meeting on pride a short while ago… hmmm? (ooooh - just oozin’ resentments eh?) […]
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