A Dozen Steps

The Hideous Four Horsemen

by Mark on January 21st, 2008

This is worth repeating…

The Hideous Four Horsemen:
Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair

Hideous? - Hateful; shocking. Syn. — Frightful; ghastly; grim; grisly; horrid; dreadful; terrible.

Terror - Extreme or Intense Fear

Bewilderment - Confused, Puzzled, Befuddled, Disorientated

Frustration - The feeling of annoyance when one’s actions are criticized or hindered

Despair - Loss of hope; utter hopelessness; complete despondency.

From page 151;

“For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination.”

Know any “normal” folks? How long has it been since your drinking was convivial? When was the last time your drinking introduced you to a healthy relationship? And how long has it been since your imagination morphed into nothing more than nightmares?

“It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good.”

Care? Who gives a damn! Boredom? Being chased by blue lights isn’t boring, is it? Worry? Heck, its become old hat to be wondering about how I’ll provide for my family. That’s no worry anymore - back to who cares? Pour me another…

“Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it.”

Yeah, but I don’t drink nearly as bad as my buddy Jerry…

“As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker.”

This time will be different. Hey - check her out…

“Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.”

Ouch, this feeling sucks. How did I get here? Hey bartender, 101 on the rocks and keep my glass full okay?

Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!

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POSTED IN: In The Book, Reality