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A Dozen Steps

The Price Of Admission

by Mark on November 6th, 2006

From pages 74-75 in the 12 and 12;

“Our eyes began to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems.”

“We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering.”

“Character-building through suffering might be all right for saints, but it certainly didn’t appeal to us.”

“Pain had been the price of admission into a new life.”

“We saw we needn’t always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering.”

Approximately 10 years ago, I said the last good-bye to my youngest son until last Thursday. He’s 23 now. And he wanted to know why I disappeared for so long. I tried to tell him. From my perspective, he didn’t receive my answer very well. I had 10 years of “expectations” that I could answer that question that did not work.

How do I really tell him (from page 76) that “Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, [ I ] was in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless [ I ] could find a means of reducing these demands.”

I put my complete and total trust in the God I understand. Now we are here and that part of the answer wasn’t good enough. That’s why I mention - pain.

BTW - if you’re tempted, I’ll never apologize for putting my difficulties in God’s hands - never! There isn’t any booze on my breath and that’s the deal!

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POSTED IN: The Seventh Step

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