A Dozen Steps

Trust Takes Time

by Mark on September 9th, 2007

A few days ago I heard a young man expressing his disappointment that his family hadn’t come to trust him. He is so early into attempting recovery (note - not sober, not even quality dry, just not drinking) that he doesn’t yet have a home group or a sponsor. He was very discouraged that they still seemed to hold his “harm” against him.

Well - duh!!!

From page 83;

“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words. We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone.”

It is a spiritual life, not a spiritual day, week, month, or even years! At this point, so early on, we are only developing unreasonable expectations because we continue to have motives - bad motives - underlying good motives. We are more than likely setting ourselves up for our next drink with this mindset.

A couple of months not drinking. Bottom line, to our families? Big Deal!!! They have seen such little change, regardless of what they may say, they won’t trust until the time comes for them to trust. Simple.

Now, of course, that is personal experience shared by many. Yours may be different (but don’t bet your life on it).

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POSTED IN: The Ninth Step