A Dozen Steps

What Is It That You Don’t Understand?

by Mark on June 24th, 2006

About situations like these;

90 days away from your last drink (sober - not!), involved (thru self-will, against sound advice) in a new relationship (yep, another newcomer in AA), new partner shows up at your front door - drunk. Without any thought process whatsoever, you invite her in. Then you engage her in “conversation” about what to do now that she’s drunk. That goes nowhere so you let her sleep it off on the couch. Within the next couple of hours you have a craving!!! She’s gone, you never did figure out what to do (tho’ you no doubt think you did) and now you have a craving! Now you call your sponsor!

You “yes” your sponsor to death, tell him “you’re right” a hundred times, that you’ll do things differently, that you’re going to start working these steps by God! Within the next week you do the same thing again, or something darn similar.

A bit differently;

You’ve been involved in a relationship for many years. Through your alcoholism you have damaged this person. You’re ready to admit that. This person may or may not have a drinking problem. That is actually inconsequential. The two of you have some difficulty in the relationship - on, off, on, off - you’re trying to work it out. You have had “discussions” about alcohol. Now, she knows you’re trying to stay sober - heck, you haven’t had a drink in 45 days! That’s been discussed. Please, let’s avoid alcohol.

Okay, perhaps you’re on again - you’re going out to dinner tonight. Going to talk some more, see if you can work things out. You pick her up. She’s drunk. You pour her into the car and continue about your business but wind up in a heated discussion that ends up nowhere. Take her home, drop her off, start driving home and bang! You have a craving!

Well, I guess these are just two newcomers that are different than most! They are so smart that they can do battle with alcohol single-handed! Nope - don’t need to call a sponsor at the right time, that would show I’m weak. Can’t do that! I’ll get through this one with my unaided will, that’s why the first word in the First Step is “WE.”

Since I know both sponsors, I have a feeling that this may be the future scenario. You’re both going to get what the oldtimers explained they were giving us - enough rope to hang yourselves! If you’re fortunate and you don’t die, we’ll be here when you get back.

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POSTED IN: Experience, Strength and Hope, Sponsors